


Correcting Course

by RuthlesslyEfficient



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Explanations, F/M, Pon Farr, Post-Star Trek Beyond, Spock and Uhura make up, explaining pon farr, no smut in this one folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 01:45:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15786417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuthlesslyEfficient/pseuds/RuthlesslyEfficient
Summary: "I have decided to remain in Starfleet. Recent events have reminded me that I have never belonged anywhere but the Enterprise. This is for many reasons, but chief among them is my attachment to you.""Then why did you decide to leave in the first place?"------After the events of "Star Trek: Beyond," Spock has some explaining to do.





	Correcting Course

Nyota was not at all surprised when Spock came knocking on her door the evening after Kirk's party.

When she answered the door to reveal him, there was something about the press of his lips against one another, just a little too firm; the set of his shoulders; the tightness around his eyes that spoke of his unease.

"I have come to speak with you," he said.

She restrained a grin. "I surmised."

They had all been assigned temporary quarters at Yorktown pending the reconstruction of the Enterprise. Nyota's were three stories above Spock's at the top of a high-rise that was housing the remaining crew.

She welcomed him in and offered him a cup of tea, which he declined. She lowered herself onto the long gray couch and motioned for him to join her, but he remained standing. His hands were clasped behind his back, as was his custom, but he still didn't look comfortable. He took a few long steps to stand in front of the floor-to-ceiling window adjacent to the sofa. She twisted to watch him, only half of his face visible to her. Outside, traffic zipped through the air, carrying Starfleet crewmen and civilians around the station. He stared straight ahead, his eyes not tracking the aircars. He flexed and relaxed one of his shoulders in an uncharacteristically fidgety move. She raised her eyebrows. Something was clearly upsetting him -- something more than just the uncertain state of their relationship.

"I have decided to remain with Starfleet," he started.

"I'm glad," she said honestly.

"Recent events have reminded me that I have never belonged anywhere but the Enterprise." It was an unusually emotional statement for him to make. "This is for many reasons, but chief among them is my attachment to you."

This left her slightly annoyed. "Then why did you decide to leave in the first place?" she demanded.

"It is that question I have come to answer," he responded, turning his face slightly away from her so she could see even less of his expression. She waited for him to continue. She had found silent expectation an effective technique to encourage him to express himself. It was several long moments before he turned to face her straight-on. "I wish to explain why the matter of leaving has been on my mind of late."

"You don't have to remind me of that," she said. "You said you felt honor-bound to help populate New Vulcan."

The idea of Spock having a child with someone else still stung.

"Yes. But I wish to tell you why the matter of procreation has become relevant now, rather than just after the loss of Vulcan or in several years. It has to do with Vulcan physiology."

She blinked, slightly confused. "Oh," she said. Then, _"Oh."_

He seemed to be attempting to speak further, but unable to do. He turned away sharply again. She scrutinized the side of his face.

"Please understand that this is a topic Vulcans do not discuss even among ourselves. I may have some difficulty," he told her.

"I can be patient," she assured him gently.

He glanced at her, then looked back out the window. "Yes," he said. He paused, seeming to gather his thoughts. At length, he said, "There is no way of describing this in euphemisms that will convey the situation accurately, so I shall do so directly." He took a deep breath and seemed to steel himself. Still, he stared resolutely forward. "Once every seven years, adult Vulcan males experience a phenomenon known as pon farr. It is an uncontrollable urge to bond -- marry, in human terms -- and mate. If we cannot mate or the mating is interrupted, we are driven to kill. If neither can occur, we die. Regardless, the situation is concluded within a matter of days."

Nyota's eyes widened throughout his explanation and her mouth dropped open. "I, er… I see," she said somewhat faintly.

He turned to study her. "Do you?"

She turned the information he'd just given her over in her mind. Then a light went off. "And you- you expect to have pon farr soon?"

He turned away again. It seemed he could not look her in the eye while talking of it. "Yes. I cannot know exactly when it will happen, as it will be my first true pon farr, but I estimate I have no more than 18 months."

"So you decided that if you were going to have Vulcan babies, you'd better leave now to have time to find a Vulcan woman to mother them?" she said, trying to ignore how the image stabbed at her heart.

"Yes," he said shortly.

She sat quietly for a few moments, processing. "Spock… Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I- I did not wish for you to know of my shame."

"Shame? Unless I misunderstood, this sounds like a natural process for your people. Why would you be ashamed?"

"Perhaps I was not clear. During pon farr, the Vulcan loses his logic. He is emotional. He is violent. He is homicidal." Here Spock closed his eyes. "He is -- I will be -- insane." Nyota thought she understood. For a Vulcan, to lose control of one's emotions was the greatest shame there was. "I did not wish for you to be subjected to that. And… I was afraid." He opened his eyes, turned, and met her gaze firmly. "I am afraid that you will not wish to bond with me."

The outright statement of his emotions had taxed him greatly, she could see, and he turned away again to look out the window.

She was at his side before she realized she was moving. "So you decided to be the one doing the leaving."

He nodded once. "I did not know if any Vulcan woman would take me -- my human genes still make me undesirable -- but at least that rejection would be… irrelevant."

She wrapped her right hand around his bicep and gently tugged on his arm until he unclasped his hands. Then she took his hand in her free one and rested her forehead against his arm. She felt him look down at her.

"Are you asking me now to marry you?" she questioned softly.

"Yes," he replied, and she could hear that tint of tenderness that sometimes colored his voice. "I see now that I could never tolerate the bond with another."

She considered, then looked up to meet his gaze. "Would you hurt me?" she finally asked. "During the pon farr?"

Spock's expression was carefully blank, but his fingers tightened around hers ever so slightly. "I do not know. Typically, the male is highly protective of his mate and she is unharmed. But you are human, and I am much stronger than you."

"We've been sexually active without any adverse effects so far," she noted.

"It will be- I will be different. I cannot anticipate how much I will understand what you need to be safe."

She thought a moment, then said hesitantly, "I hate to bring this up, but what about your parents? They were married a long time. They must have- It must have happened during their marriage."

"Yes," Spock replied slowly, obviously uncomfortable with the turn the discussion had taken.

"Would you be willing to talk with your father about it to see what needs to be done?"

Spock looked rather alarmed at the idea, but eventually he said, "Yes."

She raised a hand to his cheek. "Thank you."

"There is something else I must make sure you understand," Spock said, shifting the subject away from his parents. "The telepathic marriage bond is strong. The shock of a divorce can result in death. You would be bound to me for the rest of your life."

At this, Nyota grinned broadly. She reached for his opposite shoulder and pulled him about to face her directly, taking his other hand hers. "That's what a marriage is, isn't it? I'm not worried about that." Then she turned serious. "But in all likelihood, I will die long before you," she said, "Will you be OK?"

"I do not know. But it is worth the risk."

She smiled up at him. He gazed at her intently in that way of his; the way that said much without saying anything. "Then yes, Spock. I will bond with you."

His shoulders finally relaxed. The corners of his eyes squinted ever so slightly in the closest he ever came to a smile.

"May I kiss you now?" he asked.

She laughed. "You'd better," she said.

He silenced her chuckles with his mouth.

-The End-


End file.
